Vicious Delicious
by alibradragon
Summary: A collection of one-shots starring the Monegasque Princess and the Eurasian Soldier. R/R; Rated M to be safe.
1. White Dress

**Author's Notes: **Oh, hi! Did you miss me? No? Awww. Okay. I think I'm the first to post this pairing here on . You're not misreading anything, I went there. Lars and Lili. To start off this collection, it's more like a bunch of oldies that I've written but have posted elsewhere, or they were requests I've filled in. All I can tell you is expect sporadic updates for the time being.

**Disclaimer:** I most certainly do not own Tekken or its characters, and no copyright infringement is intended. Suing gets you nothing.

* * *

**Vicious Delicious**

_One: White Dress_

Lili claimed to be looking for suitable playmates wherever she and Lars traveled together. The very spoiled but cute princess seemed like the worst person to have as companion, but what could you do when she gave you an SUV as a gift at one point in time?

Lars remembered the day he and Lili met again. Oddly enough, she was wearing the same frilly white dress she had on the night they met at the harbor.

"Are you going to kill me?" he asked her, amusement in his voice.

"Well...Jin Kazama _is_ gone...but I heard it was on his own terms. That's unacceptable." Lili replied, her lips puckering into a pout. He watched her sink back into her stance. Lars didn't exactly want to hurt her, much less stain that pretty white dress of hers. It looked rather expensive, like it belonged behind glass and closed off from the world.

"Tch..." Lars dropped down into his own stance.

The fight didn't last long. Lars made her white dress gray, and left her lustrous platinum blonde hair scattered all over the gray pavement. It was amusing how just an hour later Lili had been forcing him to the dry cleaners with Sebastian silently in tow, demanding he fix the damage he caused.

It was still amusing that this process repeated itself for the next couple of months, except it hadn't been in the exchange of clenched fists, somersaults, backflips and battle cries.


	2. Aprons

**Author's Notes:** There are some in-jokes that won't be understood unless otherwise. but I like making Lili think she has the upperhand on Lars, and then actually writing it. I like the dynamic their characters would bring. Lars could put Lili in her place, and Lili..well, she can exact her methods of revenge. I like humiliating Lars far too much. And no, these stories are not tied together unless stated otherwise.

**Disclaimer:** See the first chapter :3

* * *

**Vicious Delicious**

_Two: Aprons_

Sebastian was on vacation and this left Lili rather restless. When Lili was restless, it seemed that Lars paid the price. That afternoon, a jetlagged but still apparently stylish Lili called Lars and politely asked—by politely asked, she meant _demanded_—him to at least meet her there because someone needed to pick her up.

"I'm busy." Lars retorted, "Take a taxi."

"Those things are disgusting, Lars. I want you to come and get me."

"Do I look like Sebastian? Lili, your ass won't be defiled by you sitting in a taxi cab."

"I'll have you know that the cheap leather of a taxi cab isn't worthy of my ass."

"But my lap is?"

"Of course it is. You have fifteen minutes."

Fifteen minutes turned into thirty, and thirty turned into forty-five. Lili was obviously very, _very _displeased. In fact, the expression on her face didn't change, not even when Lars refused to pick up his phone and answer her. When the cab came to a stop, she stomped into the building, bags and all right past the doorman—he didn't want to question her, he better not have questioned her—and onto the elevator.

The doors opened on floor twenty-seven and she stomped right to the end of the door, glaring at the silver numbers 1027 and the plate that read 'penthouse' underneath it. She rang the doorbell three times and tapped her white boot against the wine-colored carpet, clearly agitated. The door opened, revealing an amused, tired, and shirtless Lars.

"You actually got yourself here without me. Congratulations, Princess."

"_You_ were supposed to pick me up."

"Correction, I told _you_ to take a cab because I was busy."

"Busy? That was your excuse _last week_! You wouldn't be seeing someone behind my back, would you? And remember, if you even think about lying, I'll just get the information from Tougou!" Lili huffed. Lars simply left her standing in the middle of his living room, and Lili concluded that he was ten seconds from being mauled, and not in that 'take off your clothes already' kind of way.

"**Lars Alexandersson**!" she huffed, pushing the door to his home office open in one fluid motion.

"Emilie Rochefort." Lars retorted calmly, hands folded on his desk.

"You have some making up to do!" she reminded him again.

"Later."

Lili put one hand on her hip and she gave her platinum blonde hair a minor flip, and her icy blue eyes glared into his. "You seem to be forgetting that I don't like to be kept waiting."

"I don't know how many men you've had wrapped around your finger," Lars told her, leaning back into his leather chair, "But you need to learn the meaning of no."

Shamelessly, her eyes roamed, taking in every detail of his muscles from the neck down, "...No doesn't exist in my dictionary."

"Well put it in there. I have work to do, and as enjoyable as screwing the living daylights out of you is, it will have to wait."

Defeated, Lili sat down in the chair with an agitated huff. Nobody had told her no for so long, she had forgotten exactly what 'no' meant. Lars was serious; he resumed working, easily ignoring the way she shifted in the chair noisily, for she had been trying to catch his attention.

"Lars."

"In a minute."

"**Lars**."

"_In a minute_, Lili."

This process went on for fifteen minutes, with Lars easily reminding her that she could busy herself by shopping, anything really. Lili didn't want to do any of those things, she wanted to do Lars, and he was telling her no. It wasn't right denying a woman what they wanted, especially if they wanted something that was so good they took a private jet and a filthy taxi cab to get it! She crossed her arms again, pouted heavily and twenty minutes later, she had stood up out of the chair again, and stomped out the door, swearing revenge. When she returned back to his apartment, his office was empty, but the computer screen was on. Wondering what the hell had been important, she sat down and took off the screensaver.

Apparently, when Lars said work, he meant playing that game where the little yellow woman would be eating the dots and avoiding the ghosts.

There would be hell to pay. And by hell she meant sexual torture. She stomped into Lars' bedroom, ready to berate him, but she discovered him fast asleep on top of the covers. Having a fifteen second change of heart, she sighed softly and let him slumber. But that didn't mean she wouldn't be plotting her revenge.

When morning came, Lars woke up to find two things: One, he was as naked as the day he was born, and two he was cuffed to one of the posts on his bed.

"Lili?"

"Good morning!" she greeted unusually cheerfully. Lili was not a morning person, and usually Sebastian would steer clear for about twenty minutes or so. "Sleep well?"

"Lili, _what_ is this?"

"This is payback for deciding to play games instead of sleeping with me, Lars!"

"Okay, one, I started playing five minutes _after_ you left and two, this is **not** funny, let me go!" Lars protested, watching Lili lean against the dresser, dangling the key every now and then.

"I'll let you go. Only on the condition that you wear _this_ and nothing else." And that's when Lili held it up: a frilly pink apron. Lars deadpanned and shook his head.

"No. _Hell no_."

"Oh come _onnnn_!" Lili whined, "Please?"

"...Fine." Lars sighed. Victorious, Lili strode over to the bed and shoved the garment into his free arm, planted a kiss on his cheek and unlocked the handcuffs before exiting the room. If Lars could just stop staring at her hips as she sauntered out of the room, then maybe he'd be a little angrier.

And five minutes later, here he was, looking the mirror at this damndable pink apron, muttering to himself. He heard Lili's shrill call of "_Laaaarrssss_!" and he walked out of the room.

Fine, he could take this like a man.

_Pink is manly. Pink is manly._

Yes, this shade of pink was _manly_. He wouldn't call it pink, he would call it Light Red. Said 'light red' apron did little to nothing to cover his body, not to mention his bare ass was completely out. It could've been worse, she could've done this while Tougou was visiting. Although last time he visited, he walked in on them and for a while none of them were able to eat peaches with a straight face.

"How does it feel?" Lili asked, crossing one leg over the other.

"Tight."

"Good!"

"...You're **kidding**, right?" Lars blurted, his hands on his hips. "Just you wait. When you least expect it, I'll exact some revenge of my own."

"Well that time's not now is it?" Lili replied, getting up out of the chair, "Now, you have breakfast to make. Chop-chop, dear!"

There had never been a better sight than seeing a naked Lars move around in the kitchen, disgruntled and slightly flustered.

When Lunchtime came around, the tables would turn.


	3. In Motion

**Author's Notes: **Had to get the plotbunny off my back. Enjoy! I know he's not in his 1P canonically, but eh, I'm bending a lot. I did this because how could anyone not pay attention to Lili's cartwheels? Her style of play may be spam worthy, but she looks damn good doing it, and you'd have to be crazy to not notice it.

**Disclaimer:** See First Chapter, and remember, suing gets you nothing!

* * *

_Vicious Delicious_

_Three: In Motion_

_

* * *

_

"Welcome aboard my ship! Are you going to be my new toy?"

Lars doesn't need her name, he's seen her face well enough to know. She's in the media every now and then because of her last name: Rochefort. He hit his head hard enough to forget who he was and his objective, but not hard enough to forget select people and places. Fate has a habit of fucking him over, it has to.

Maybe this time she's being nice by having the daughter of an oil tycoon appear in front of him.

Red scarf with a checkered pattern, dainty hands partially covered with white gloves, obviously meant to display finely manicured nails. Frilled white dress, stitching of lace, held together by buttons. A frilled petticoat underneath. Drift downward with those blue eyes. They're not like his. Hers are lighter and much more carefree, they're much more vibrant. Her lids are dusted with pink eye shadow, and her lips are painted with pink lipstick. Just lightly, not enough to stain his mouth if he were to—

_No._

A little further downward and Lars can see bare legs. Down to her shins, and he sees red socks peeking out from white leather boots. His mind can think of countless words about the color white and how it's perceived as this symbol of purity. His mind can also think of how all of that white is tainted with splashes of red.

"Are you _really_ the owner of this ship?" he asks, so he can make it look like he's _not_ checking her out. If his mind wasn't a complete clusterfuck of _'who the hell am I?'_ and _'what should I be doing?'_ he would be flirting. That's what you did when you saw a pretty girl, right? When you saw someone that looked like they would be perfect wrapped in your arms.

She giggles—no, really, she giggles—and then she opens her mouth to speak.

"_Ooh_, I wonder how you'll sing when I hurt you! I can't wait to find out!"

There's a hint of glee in her voice, even as more women clad in suits appear. Her security of course. With a single glance at Alisa he motions for her to handle the others. He wants Lili all for himself. Command understood, Alisa goes off as the women advance, and Lars watches as Lili inches forward. Her fighting stance is peculiar at best, nothing as polished as a veteran practitioner. It's almost hypnotic and before he can stare again, she's bending her body and executing a cartwheel.

He moves back, watching her legs come down against the pavement, and then back up, performing another cartwheel. He's fast enough to guard, but taking care to let his eyes watch toned legs come down one after the other. Her back is toward him now and if he looks hard enough he can see the outline of her body in that dress.

Lars makes the mistake of thinking she's a novice for having her back turned in a fight and he pays for it when her palms connect with his face, left palm and then the right one, as if she had been shunning him for looking. He can shake off the pain easily, enough to see that her left leg is coming down with enough strength to make him falter. Her knee is bent and the way she's moving is giving an excellent view of underwear underneath.

He should be ashamed, but somehow the smirk on her face lets him know that he shouldn't be, only that he's going to pay for it. He's trying to ignore the part that wants to 'sing' for her, because he's not a masochist or a sadist or anything of that sort.

Lili closes the space between them, ducking downward in all attempts to sweep him off of his feet, but Lars is smart, parrying the oncoming low sweep and throwing her off her feet. He can push her away from him, watching as she stands up immediately. Lars can deduce just a couple of things: Her fighting style is some sort of amalgam of dancing and gymnastics, and that she looks damn good while doing it.

She's suiting up to strike again, and Lars is alerted by the sound of jetpacks clicking into motion and whirring to life. Next comes the sound of chainsaws extending and as that blur of purple and pink-red hair shot in front of him, Lili immediately jumped over her, her dress becoming ensnared by the whirring metal and tearing the lace to shreds. The hem of her dress didn't even exist anymore, and the white garment was split up the sides.

"Alisa!" he blurted, as Lili let out a horrifying yell of "_Enough_!" before complaining—by complaining he meant screeching—about her ruined dress before fixing her glare on Lars.

Before he could even begin spewing apologies, Lili had been reaching for the material of his cape, yanking it toward her and him in the process and using it as a makeshift cover up, although it did little to nothing.

"_You're_ fixing this!" she huffed before looking back at him and then toward Alisa, and finally at her dress. She seemed to think about it for a moment and then she kept a firm grip on his cape and pressed her body against his back.

"...I've done a little research on you. Your paycheck wouldn't even be enough to cover sewing my dress. I'll need a complete new one." Lili continued quietly, ignoring Alisa's constant apologies, "This means you're going to have to work off your debt to me."

"Excuse me?" Lars questioned, looking at her over his shoulder and receiving a pointed glare in response.

He was dragged toward the ship that accompanied the tanker at the harbor by Lili and his cape, with Alisa hurrying to keep up.


End file.
